I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i now understand why vodka
Sorry about my life...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
