my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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