Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
