I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
