come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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