Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
