sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
