Sponge bath it is.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
