Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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