sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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