Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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