You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
