So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The power of my boobs compel you
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
