Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
