its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
