Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sober January is a disaster.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
