Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
