Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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