I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
