Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
And then he peed in my hair
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