So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
