Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
