Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
