First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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