That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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