I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
