Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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