You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
