Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
