I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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