he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
