Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
