I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
