If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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