Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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