Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
