i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
