Just fell off a train. Bad.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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