some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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