Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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