Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
