new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
