u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
