whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am midnight drunk by noon
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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