He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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