how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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