she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
