No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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