you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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