Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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